Sighs of the Sparrow's Progeny
by Uskius
Summary: Bulma gathers the Dragon Balls and lets Trunks have a wish for his birthday. Trunks' simple and honest wish to make Barney real has massive consequences. Crossover between Dragon Ball Z and Barney.


**Sighs of the Sparrow's Progeny**

The cake was chocolate, not Trunk's favorite but good enough. But he didn't care about the cake this year, not at all.

-_Flashback!- "I just don't know what to get Trunks this year," Bulma sighed._

_"What's that show he thinks we don't know he watches, with the ridicuous purple thing? Get him something from that." Vegeta answered as he flipped through the paper._

_"No, I don't want to embarrass him! He's going to be a big boy now, so think of something a bit more age appropriate."_

_"I don't know, woman- just get him more flame retardant boxers! Or a pet rock!" Bulma sighed angrily._

_"What do you get the boy who can get anything..."_

_"Whatever he wants." _

_"Whatever he wants... oh! Of course! Why didn't I think of that earlier? Vegeta, how do you feel about doing some flying?" -End Flashback!-_

...because of the present sitting right in front of him.

"Make a wish," Bulma playfully said with a wink.

_The Dragon Balls for a present! This. Is. AWESOME! Alright, think for a minute... no more flame retardant boxers from dad, I already have a private gravity room... so really, the only thing I can think of that's a Dragon Ball level wish is..._ "Uh... could everyone go inside the house for me to make my wish? It's kinda private..." The partygoers nodded to themselves, and left to head back inside the mansion. "Umm, you too, Mom and Dad."

"Okay... just try to be responsible with your wish."

After Bulma and Vegeta left, Trunks cleared his throat. "I summon the Eternal Dragon Shenron!" The Balls glowed and pulsed, and then a bit later Shenron shot up from them, towering over the Briefs house.

"I can grant you any three wishes..."

_Three? I thought it was just one! Alright!_ "Shenron, I want Barney to be real!"

With a pop, Barney appeared beside Trunks. "Done. Your second wish?"

"Uh... could you make him Super Saiyan and stuff?"

"Does 'and stuff' refer to saiyan abilities?"

"Sure."

"Then he is now able to become Super Saiyan. Your third wish?"

"I want a pair of pink flame retardant boxers," Asked Trunks, only having thought for Barney.

"They are now in your dresser," Shenron said. "Peace out, the Eternal Drizzle farizzle is leavin' the hizzouse." The dragon faded away, and the Dragon Balls pulsed and spun in a circle as they rose up, and then shot away.

"Could you wait for me in my room, Barney?" Asked Trunks shyly.

"Oohoohoo! Well, of course!" Barney winked away, and Trunk sighed in relief. Trunks then helped himself to another slice of cake, and called back the people who'd come to his party.

~oOo~

Trunks was tossing and turning, unable to sleep. "...Barney?"

There were a few pops, and the purple dinosaur appeared with a couple children unfamiliar to Trunks. "I'm right here, Trunks."

"I want to talk for a little bit."

"Oh sure! So what's on your mind?"

"My Dad's only gotten me flame retardant boxers for my birthdays. Why would he do something like that when he knows what I like?"

"My Dad gets me weird presents too," Said one of Barney's kids. She was a young girl with green hair and a sharp nose.

"Well sometimes parents have funny little ways of showing love. I bet your father loves you a whooooole bunch, and that's his way of letting you know."

"But I wonder if he even loves me sometimes. I mean, he beats me up practically every day." The green haired girl gasped in shock, taken aback.

"My father beats me too," Said the young boy, who Barney brought. "And he yells and fights with my mom..."

"Oh..." Barney cooed. "There there. Trunks and his dad are martial artists, so when Trunks gets beat it's for a different reason. Trunks, I bet your father is so proud of you, and wants you to be a strong young man when you grow up. Sometimes parents have to make hard choices; and I think your dad must want to do everything he can to help you be healthy."

"I... I guess so. He does bother me about what I eat, too. I've just never really thought of it as love. But, sometimes he just hits me when he's angry, too." The shy young boy beside Barney nodded.

"Oh, that's a serious thing that mommies need to talk with you about, with your daddies. See some adults can be mean, but they can also be disappointed."

"What does disappointed mean again?" Asked the shy boy, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

"It means your parents are sad and hurt because you disobeyed them. It's something you can help with, though."

"How?" Asked the girl. "My parents are so... oh this is bad, but- they can be so _stupid_ sometimes." Trunks sat up in bed, and turned to Barney and the others.

"By trusting them, Kylah." Said Barney. "They used to be cute little kids just like you, so they know what you're going through if you have trouble, or are doing lots of chores. So it's good to always obey your parents."

"Really?" Asked Kylah.

"Really really."

"But my dad did go through the same stuff I did," Trunks began. "He was a prince! He didn't have to do lots of chores, or clean his room or anything!"

"He still had to obey his dad," Barney reminded Trunks. "And princes have lots of hard work to do. After all, they'll need to learn how run the kingdom for when it's their time to rule." Trunks yawned, and a slow, comfortable music beat began to play softly.

"Mommies and daddies were once kids  
Bouncing on a knee  
And when you make a mistake  
It's not the mess they see.

They might want to see a big mess  
Or what your did wrong,  
But they just see the lovable child  
That you've been all along

Like mother and daughter, father and son

Let's love each other, forgive everyone..."

The kids swayed side to side and sang along with Barney as he repeated the last verse a few times. Trunks yawned again, and saw Kylah and the boy doing so, too. "You guys can stay the night here if you want. There are some sleeping bags in the closet." The two sleepily nodded, and Barney walked back to the middle of the room carrying the sleeping bags and pillows. He helped them get settled in, and kissed them goodnight. The last thing Trunks saw before he closed his eyes was something shining on Kylah's forehead.

~oOo~

Trunks was feeling restless after school, so he headed to his own gravity room. Kylah and Tambrey were gone when Trunks woke up, and the sleeping bags back in the closet. After doing his stretches, he called, "Barney?"

With several pops, Barney appeared. There were a number of children with him, ranging from toddlers to a boy who looked a few years older than Trunks. Kylah and Tambrey were there too. "Oohoohoo! Hello, Trunks!" The unfamiliar kids waved and bid Trunks hello too. "Are we all ready to exercise?"

"Well, I was going to work out at 50 Gs, so..."

"That's perfectly fine."

"Really?" Trunks said, slightly shocked. "Well, here. Computer: turn to the gravity to twice the normal level!" There were beeps and whirring sounds, and then the gravity doubled. The younger kids buckled under their own weight, but soon stood up.

"Very good, everyone!" Clapped Barney. "We're going to go a bunch higher, but the strength of our covenant will lift you up! Computer: octuple the gravity!" Even Trunks went down under his weight this time, but he felt strength flowing through his body from his forehead, and he got back up. Barney himself showed no signs of strain, and moved to beside Trunks. "Let's do some jumping jacks!" Barney then led the children in an exercise routine, at first sticking to jumping jacks but then branching out into pushups. From there he led them in punches and kicks, and an assorment of movement drills. Trunks didn't think much of it, as it was similar to the workout he had planned to do anyways.

As Eye of the Tiger faded, one of the younger girls looked over to Barney. "I wish I could be strong like Trunks, he didn't look like he was working hard at all!"

"That's because Trunks is healthy and exercises a lot. Right, Trunks?"

"Uh, I guess so."

"And exercising every day is an important part of being healthy. An hour a day keeps the doctor away!"

"Like apples?" Asked one of the toddler girls.

"Mm-hmm, and it helps even more if you have fruit and a couple veggies to eat, too!" An upbeat piano tune started, and Barney began singing.

"Fruit and veggies, la la la  
They help keep you strong  
With exercise and a good night's sleep  
You just can't go wrong!"

"I like asparagus!" Said a young boy, in time with the music.

"I like potatoes!"

"I LOVE peaches!"

"And I like tomatoes!" Said Kylah.

"Fruit and veggies, la la la

They just taste so yummy

A healthy head and healthy heart

Go good with a healthy tummy!"

Everyone sang along as Barney repeated the verses, and the gravity went back down to normal. Trunks, though Barney was with him, felt slightly disappointed. It only took a moment of thought to figure out why. "Barney, could we spar?" Heads turned to him, and then to Barney as all awaited his answer.

"Of course, Trunks. Let it never be said I won't play with you!" The other children moved to the side as Barney's power level rose, and he assumed a fighting stance. Trunks began with a few cautious low kicks, which Barney nibmly avoided as he moved in to begin punching. The purple dinosaur was incredibly light on its feet, turning on a dime when Trunks tried to get to his side, throwing in swipes with his tail. If Trunks jumped to avoid the tail sweeps, then Barney was there with a terrifyingly sharp hook or uppercut; if he tried a sweep of his own Barney immediately countered with a stabbing kick to unbalance him. Before he knew it, Trunks was on the defensive, resorting to short aerial bursts to move. Barney began putting together flowing combinations of strikes, spinning one way for a tail strike and then the other for a punch. After a drop kick that drove Trunks back, Barney spoke. "Are you ready to go Super Saiyan?"

"Yeah!" Trunks let his power out, the transformation happening fast. Barney transformed with a kiai, his spots glowing golden yellow now, and suddenly having golden hair much like Trunks did. Sensing the dinosaur's ki rise to a carefully controlled stop, Trunks moved in. Barney's defense was magnificent, his shorter limbs quickly brushing aside Trunks' strikes and countering. The duel sped up until it was too fast for the watching children to follow. It seemed to Trunks like Barney knew his every move before he even attacked, sticking in a counterstrike that was perfectly calculated while continually pressing forwards. "Okay, I'm getting kinda tired now, Barney." No sooner than Trunks spoke the words, Barney stopped and powered down.

"That was so cool!" The kids chorused, applauding Trunks and Barney.

"I wish I could do that," Said a young boy with spiky orange hair.

"You're all special," Barney began. "And even if you don't look like Trunks, if you believe in yourself and be healthy you can be strong just like him! Our covenant will give you the strength." Trunks ears pricked up at hearing covenant again, and made a note to look up what it meant later. But then someone's stomach growled, and they had a chuckle before going to get a snack.

~oOo~

Bulma was just flipping through the channels when the news story caught her attention. "-and over the past few weeks this has gone global. Reports are coming in from parents around the world, of children disappearing and then coming back at odd times with a strange mark on their heads."

The shot changed to a bereaved mother speaking in a foreign language, dubbed over by a woman with a smooth voice. "My son, he just disappears. He keeps going away, and then coming back. But he seems so happy at times; I don't know if these people are giving him drugs or-"

"Vegeta! Come in here quickly!" Sighing and putting down his sandwich, the Saiyan walked in from the snack room near the lounge.

"What?" Bulma pointed to the TV, and Vegeta leaned against the wall to watch.

"-In the middle of the controversy is _this._" An isolated shot of a child's forehead popped up on the screen, displaying the mark in question. It was a half oval, with curving lines coming from the top and going in through the sides, some poking back out and curling up and some going down to the base. It was intricate and appeared to be some form bizarre writing. "-On the fringes of this story are anecdotes of children performing superhuman feats such as flying, or displaying incredible strength-"

"That thing looks familiar," Vegeta said, frowning. "Where have I seen it before?"

"On Trunks' new friends!" Bulma shouted, turning back to Vegeta. "Every single one of them has it on their foreheads! And you know what? We never see Trunks' friends leaving, either! They just disappear!"

"Calm down, woman!"

"No! The last time we dealt with any of this paranormal magic mumbo jumbo was _Buu_, and I think you know what happened there."

"Buu was completely different than this."

"Yeah, but something is abducting children all over the world and it's happening right here in our city too!"

Trunks walked in from the snack room. "What's going on?"

"Your mother's just getting worked up over some news story," Answered Vegeta.

"Trunks honey, can you tell me where you've..." Bulma's question died off, and her stare fixed on Trunks' forehead. There, right in the middle of it, was the very same mark that had appeared on the news story. After a minute Bulma found her voice. "What did you get the mark on your forehead from?"

"F- from... look, I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Oh I think you're going to be talking about it, young man! Trunks, you have to tell-" And then Trunks disappeared.

~oOo~

Rutaba was an energetic young woman of thirteen, with wavy blue hair and a strange monkey-like tail. At the moment she was on her way to get some ice cream after school, when she heard car horns blaring and several loud curses down the street. She turned to look, and found a stage had appeared in the middle of the road, and on it was a purple dinosaur. _No... could it really be...?_

"Oohoohoo, attention ladies and gentlemen! I have a big announcement!" Rutaba got out her camera phone and began recording the event. "We all love children, right? Well, little ol' me is an expert on children, and I've been learning that some of you _don't_ love children. You give them away as babies, because they'd upset your life 'too much', because you didn't plan to support them from the beginning. Why not? You're getting together because you wanted children, no? Well I am here to put down your silly little arguments. I say getting together with someone and not having a child is selfish-"

"Some of us just like to fuck!" A man shouted. There was a murmur of agreement, before Barney spoke up in a low and growling voice with glowing red eyes.

"_DO NOT INTERRUPT, KNAVE_!" Clearing his throat, Barney continued in his normal voice. "As I was saying, it's selfish because love is all about sharing. Sharing is caring, you know! And babies and kids are the best thing to share with someone you love. But strangers are bad for little kiddies; they need their real parents to help them grow up right. So for all the beautiful and lovely little lads and ladies left for strangers, I have rescued them. I am now their shelter, I am the voice that speaks for the weeping hearts punished into silence and forsaken by the truth!

Now, some of you have little babies and children, but don't love them. Why not? Is is because they remind you of yourself? Do you hate yourself so much you can't love anyone else? I feel sorry for you if that's why. Loving yourself is important, because that's how you learn to share. And what is sharing? _Sharing_ is _caring_! And once you learn to love yourself and learn to share, then you can help your kiddies when they have problems just like you did. So I have gathered those under my covenant to me, to teach them a pure and blameless way of sharing and love to spread to the whole world!

But there's one thing I just can't stand. Do you know what it is? It's when people hate babies and kids and sharing so much they kill babies before they're born! The babies don't even have a chance to be loved or shared with someone then! It's so selfish and evil! So for all the whimsicorical dreams crushed before the dawn, I have raised up an mighty army. For retribution, and vindication, and for the fulfillment of justice! For every life taken, I will reap a life, so that only the pure will remain. Thus I have spoken, so shall it be done."

"So you're just gonna kill us all off?" Asked the same man who'd interrupted earlier. "You and what army?"

"Oh, I think you know what army, Richard." At that, over a dozen children popped up on the stage, dressed in simple and colorful workout clothes.

"T-Tambrey? Is that you?" Asked Richard. The shy boy walked up to beside Barney.

"You can't hurt me anymore, Dad. I'm strong now."

"Show him how strong you are, Tambrey..." Encouraged Barney. Her phone beeping, Rutaba saw it was out of recording time. She moved closer to the stage, and heard the sounds of a fight growing louder.

_Something wrong is going on here,_ Thought Rutaba. _Something really, really wrong._ Nudging aside people and pushing some out of her way, Rutaba jogged up to the stage and saw Tambrey beating Richard. "Hey! Hey, stop it!" Tambrey sent a dark look her way, but continued. Rutaba then ran over and pulled Tambrey away, but he wriggled out of her grasp and pushed her into the crowd, knocking down several people. Her fighting instincts triggered, Rutaba stormed back over to Richard and put a fierce blow on Tambrey's jaw, visibly breaking it with a nasty cracking sound. Shaking out her fist, she also smacked Richard. Then she worked up her ki and turned to Barney, only to find a boy with lavender hair in her way. "Move."

"No. I can't let you get to Barney," Trunks replied.

Rutaba gave an angry sigh, and closed her eyes. _"Rutie, rule number one in the city: no showing off. That means no flying and definitely no ki techiques, and it also-_ "Someone has to stop him," She quietly said. "And if you don't move, you'll be going down with him." The younger boy looked up at her, unmoved. The silence drew out, and Rutaba could feel Barney watching her. _Sorry, Mom..._ With a kiai, Rutaba broke rule number one and flew into the air, charging a ki blast for Barney. She let it loose, a golden-red beam streaking towards the stage. However, it was intercepted by a beam from Trunks. Rutaba's leather vest flapped in the breeze whipped up by the beam struggle, the concrete beginning to fracture underneath the energies. Shouting, Rutaba put even more into her energy beam, pushing back Trunks until he came up against the stage.

"_ATTACK, MY CHILDREN_!" Roared Barney. In response, the children on the stage blasted their own energy beams to back up Trunks'. The pavement under the huge beam struggle cracked and flew away, and the nearby cars began rolling over. Pouring out all her energy, Rutaba's hair turned golden and floated up, and her tail turned golden. She used the energy of the transformation to even out the struggle, and bit by bit forced it back towards the stage. That was when Trunks turned Super Saiyan, and once again, the ki wave surged back at Rutaba. Giving every last bit of energy she could she managed to hold it off for a moment, until Barney himself attacked. He roared and a reddish-black energy beam shot from his mouth, and it overwhelmed Rutaba's ki beam and sent her flying down the block.

~oOo~

Rutaba woke up on a comfortable table in an unfamiliar room. "Where...?"

"Safe," Said an equally unfamiliar voice. It was Mr. Popo, standing beside her. "My master has kept an eye on Barney this last week, and saw your confrontation. It was I who carried you here."

_I'm healed..._ "Thank you." A statue in the room's corner caught Rutaba's eye. "Umm... what's that, over there?" She pointed to it.

"Ah, that is the classic _Copulatio-_"

"Mr. Popo, the meeting's started." Said Krillin, looking in. "Oh, was I...?"

"No, I'm all healed up." Rutaba swung her legs around and hopped off the table. Quickly she snatched up her leather vest and put in on on the way to the door.

"Good," Krillin said as they started walking. "Say, you look really familiar, like the sister or daughter of someone I know."

"Oh, you don't say?" Ruataba chuckled nervously. Her mother often talked of a group of fighters, one of whom was short and a former monk just like Krillin. "So, where exactly are we?"

"The Lookout," Mr. Popo said. "From here my master can observe the events happening on the Earth, and teleport around the world or manipulate time."

"Sounds pretty cool." Said Rutaba. "But if he was watching Barney why didn't he do anything about it before now?"

"Well, you can ask him that yourself in just a minute." Krillin told her.

"Is he at the meeting?"

"Of course."

"And I guess I'm allowed to go, right?"

"Yes. So far you are the only one to engage Barney," Mr. Popo explained. "Your account will be important."

Rutaba wanted to contest her importance, remembering her mother's warnings about showing off, and wondered what kind of people she was going to meet now that rule number one had been broken. The walk continued on in silence for what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a few moments. The conference room was open, leading to other places through arches; the view through the windows was of blue skies and palm trees.

"-When they get back." Vegeta said. "Hmph. Speak of the devil..."

"Hey Krillin, Mr. Popo! Come on in and sit back down." Spoke Goku. Rutaba sat next to Krillin across from him, while Mr. Popo walked around the table back to his seat. "So," He began, now looking right at Rutaba, "Want to introduce yourself?"

"I'm Rutaba, from Herculopolis. I'm pretty much just your average girl." Hearing a scoff from the corner Rutaba glanced over towards it and saw Piccolo with his arms folded across his chest.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. We were just going over what to do about Barney, but really I think what we need is your opinion on him."

"He's evil," Rutaba spat out immediately. "I could feel it when I was watching him. He was talking sweet, but everyone there knew something was wrong when he showed up." Patting around her pockets for a second, Ruaba found her camera phone was still intact. She pulled it out and played the video.

"Oohoohoo, attention ladies and gentlemen!" The mood of the room grew even more tense as the video played, the Z Fighters leaning in to watch. "...Show them how strong you a-"

"Freeze it." Vegeta said. "That boy next to Tambrey on the stage is Trunks. So that's where he went..."

"I'm guessing you guys know Trunks?" Asked Rutaba.

"He's my son." A heavy silence fell on the room, and Rutaba realized Trunks was the same boy she'd clashed with in the city.

_These guys, they must be at least in their thirties... so I bet they all have kids too._ "Look, I'm sure some of you have kids of your own, but we can't just let Barney kill all the adults, or let those kids die fighting them! We have to stop them!"

"That's easy for you to say," Vegeta replied. "You don't have any children of your own. And what warrior would lower themselves to fighting a child? It'd be disgustingly dishonorable."

"Almost unthinkable," Echoed Yamcha.

"Well I'm thinking of it! It's just sick how Barney is using his nambla-pamby sugar coated crap to get to everyone. I- I used to like Barney, too, so I know these kids'll be thinking it's the right thing to do to join him." Rutaba looked around the table. "Seriously? Is no one with me on this?"

"Believe us, we want to stop Barney just as much as you do," Goku said. "And if I get a chance to fight him I will. But I don't think any of the rest of us will be fighting his army." The sentiment was shared by everyone at the table, the Z Fighters nodding in agreement with Goku. Rutaba sighed and held her head in her hands.

"I can't do it by myself..." She said quietly. "There has to be someone who can help me."

"Of course!" Gohan shouted, standing up. "There is someone who can help Rutaba!" The Z Fighters looked confused for a moment, until comprehension began to dawn.

~oOo~

"Absolutely not." Behind Chi Chi, Goten could be seen absentmindedly picking his nose as he stared off into the distance.

"But he helped fight against Buu last year!" Goku complained.

"Yeah, and he's one of our strongest. He's a Super Saiyan!" Added Gohan.

"Well, Buu was a threat to the entire universe."

"Barney's pretty dangerous, too." Goku said. Chi Chi still glared at him stubbornly, refusing to budge on the issue. "C'mon, he's not a kid like he used to be. He's been in tough fights, he can handle it."

"He needs to finish school first."

"I'm doing just fine in school even though I took all that time away for the Cell Games." Gohan tried. Chi Chi frowned but didn't interrupt. "And just think, how would you be reacting if Goten was part of Barney's army? You'd want us fighting for him, right?"

"...When did Barney become evil, anyways..." Chi Chi muttered as she went back into the house. Moments later she appeared with a stack of books in her arms. "Tutor him while he's off training. If he can't pass the test when he gets back there'll be Hell to pay." Gohan and Goku looked at each other, and slowly began to smile.

~oOo~

Rutaba clapped her hands before falling back down to do another pushup. Dende had told her and Goten of a new mystic technique he'd mastered, one that could unlock hidden fighting potential. He of course had applied it to her and Goten, and since then Rutaba's energy had been welling up nonstop. Goten had seemed more energetic as well, but since he was a kid it was difficult for Rutaba to tell if that was just normal for him.

Afterwards, they trained in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber with Yamcha, who had volunteered. He proved to be surprisingly powerful, and a skilled instructor who used all his training methods he'd learned over the years. His favorite drill, and the one they were doing now, was quickly switching from explosive exercises and sparring. "Up up up, sparring, go!" His young trainees obeyed, pushing up and jabbing and throwing in kicks. "Faster, faster! Go all out, full power!" The two sped up just a little bit, already trying nearly their hardest. "Full power; build your ki with each strike!" Rutaba complied, but soon she almost lost control of her energy as her bones and muscles ached with power. The aching went away after a full body flex, and Rutaba resumed her offensive, seeing Goten had powered up as well. Yamcha took note of the electric aura that crackled around Goten now, and how Rutaba's physique had changed from lean to muscular, and there was a greenish tint to her gold hair. _The future... it rests on their shoulders now!_

A couple weeks in the chamber later found them working on maintaining their respective Super Saiyan forms. While being attacked with a Spirit Ball. Yamcha had taught them his signature technique, so while one was focusing their ki Yamcha would be helping the other attack. Despite frequent protests this did wonders to toughen them up, their power levels and focus growing rapidly. And in time, the strain of maintaining their Super Saiyan transformations went down.

Yamcha also instructed Rutaba and Goten in his personal style, teaching them his powerful Wolf Fang Fist and unique variation of the Kamehameha. He also taught them his Spirit Punch, which was powerful enough to defeat Recoome on King Kai's planet.

"How long have we been here, again?" Asked Goten, as Gonna Fly Now faded.

"Almost three months," Rutaba answered. "Master Yamcha, how long would that be outside?"

"It'd be evening out there. You guys ready to head out now?"

Goten and Rutaba glanced at each other and back to Yamcha. "We're ready." Confidently they walked out of the chamber, standing tall as Goldberg's WWE entrance music played. Piccolo was waiting for them.

"The war's started already." He said. "Central City is under heavy attack. Barney himself hasn't shown up yet." There was a short silence before Piccolo spoke again. "Are you ready to move out?"

"Definitely," Rutaba said. "It's go time."

Piccolo nodded and tossed the young fighters two small pouches. "Senzu beans. You'll each have three."

"Thanks!" Goten said.

"What do these things taste like?" Asked Rutaba.

"Oh," Said Goten, rubbing the back of his neck. "They actually taste a lot like-"

"There's no time for chitchat," Piccolo cut in. "I'm taking you to the teleport room as we speak."

"Do you have an estimate of how many kids there are?"

Piccolo turned to Yamcha with a stony expression on his face. "Over nine thousand. Rutaba, Goten, with numbers that high it's not going to be about beating them all. Just try to stop as many as you can, alright?"

"Got it." The short walk was soon over, the door to the room already open. The space was dark, and Mr. Popo stood at a console with pulsing lights at the end of finger-like tubes.

"Preparations are complete," He said. "All that is left is for you to stand in the middle of the circle, and you will be teleported to the site of the battle."

_This is all happening so fast!_ Thought Rutaba as she walk to the middle of the teleport circle. Goten seemed resolute, looking sure of himself. _All those kids fighting their mothers and fathers... wait! No, no no no! What will my dad be doing?!_ Before Rutaba could do anything else, she felt a deep tugging sensation in her stomach and she blinked at finding herself in new surroundings. To her front were broken skyscrapers and houses, shops looted and cars overturned in the middle of the street. The music smoothly transitioned into Steelgods of the Last Apocalypse by Rhapsody, and after a glimpse at the sunset Rutaba and Goten got a good look at Barney's army.

"Rutaba, have you ever seen nine thousand people all in one place before?"

"No, Goten. I haven't." Gulping, Rutaba steeled her resolve. "Alright, let's power up! I'll take the ones on the left, and you take the ones on the right. Ready?"

"Ready!" Both went up to full strength, the ground trembling under their power and rising up in small chunks. Rutaba grew taller and much more muscular, and Goten's hair stood straight up in golden spikes. The two Super Saiyans glanced at each other, and back to the army.

"On three!" Rutaba called, ramping up her ki. "One! Two! ...Three!" They loosed two massive blasts, the beams filling up the wide street completely. When they faded, the street was carved out into a U and the buildings lining the way damaged. Then the army came back in from the side streets, it's numbers not reduced as much as the two had hoped. Goten shot fowards, taking on his side with great speed. He ducked and countered and struck and punched ceaselessly, weaving through the kids of Barney's army. A boy wearing purple and green was brushed aside with a swift spinning kick, a young girl with a ponytail taken down with an elbow strike. The minutes wore on, his attacks not slowing down.

Rutaba was launching a continuous blast of energy bullets with increasing fury. They were on target, her Spirit Ball training having helped with her accuracy. "Die! Just stay down, all of you!" Shouting her kiai Rutaba released a cloud of ki balls, and shot them forwards to scour the army front like a multitude of mini Spirit Balls. She ran in then, and began engaging in hand to hand combat. This kid went down to a backhand, the one with a goofy orange headband sent flying by a monstrous uppercut, the next by a roundhouse kick. A quick look saw Goten was holding his own on the right, sending kids streaking off at breakneck pace. After a while, it seemed to Rutaba that each child she put down looked just the same. Then she realized she was fighting the same girl! "Who are you?"

"Kylah, an elite of Barney's Children!"

"You have to realize what he's doing to all of you!" Rutaga raged, kicking Kylah through a hot dog stand. "You're murderers and killers now!"

"No we're not!" Kylah retorted. "We aren't bad people, we're only helping Barney make the world a better place!" Kylah stood, settling into a fighting stance. Rutaba replied with a roar, her power level rising past any place it had gone before. Chunks of rubble and even a car got caught in the updraft, and the surrounding buildings started shuddering. Kylah gulped and backed away a step, and then leapt in. She was easily deflected upwards, and Rutaba screamed a beam from her mouth at full power. It connected with Kylah, detonating in a massive explosion that toppled several of the buildings close to the road.

"BARNEY!" Yelled Rutaba. "IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND FIGHT ME!"

"Oohoohoo, _wish granted._" Barney knocked Rutaba through a building, only for the top half of said building to come flying back at him. He kicked it into pieces. Flying through the debris came Rutaba, firing a barrage of ki blasts. Barney deflected them easily and began his hand to hand fighting, using his short limbs to keep Rutaba close. Rutaba tried to boost away several times but Barney kept pace with her. He grab her and threw her into another building, got her in a clinch and kneed her until the wall caved in and then bashed her down several floors through the office building. He curled in and charged his ki for a moment until it flashed out from his green spots, and then shot it down at Rutaba. "Happy Thoughts Barrage!" The rest of the office building fell on Rutaba, but soon after she blasted it off of her.

"Is that all you've got?"

"Of course not, Rutie-"

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT!"

"Well, I guess it's time to start playing rough. Oohoo!" Barney clapped, and then transformed to Super Saiyan, golden hair sprouting and standing up on his head. "May the fists of my covenant destroy my enemies!"

_This is unreal! This is way more power than a regular Super Saiyan has!_ Rutaba took a brutal rush of blows, being driven through several buildings with extreme prejudice. She fought back as best she could, trying to counter the odd strike or tail sweep here and there. _All my blows are sinking in, they aren't doing anything! NO!_ Barney knocked Rutaba down with a Polish Hammer, leaving a crater in the ground.

_Huh? Rutaba?!_ "What did you do to her, you freak?"

"Now now, Goten. Name calling isn't nice." Barney then showed Goten first hand what he'd done to Rutaba. Goten tried to stay on the offensive, by switching up his angles and zooming around Barney. After a prolonged and furious rush of blows, however, he realized Barney was standing still and just laughing.

_It- it's like punching a pillow or something..._ "I'm not going to give up so easily!"

"Oh, but don't you want to let me win?"

"No!" Before the response was even out of Goten's mouth, Barney moved in to attack again. He kneed Goten in the gut, and then smashes the young Saiyan down with a spinning reverse elbow. Drifting up and back Barney charged up a massive globe of ki. "Sleep tight, little one!" He fired the ki orb at Goten and the first explosion leveled five buildings, the second fifteen buildings, and the third engulfed two whole city blocks.

Kylah limped back towards Barney. "Did we win, Barney?"

"Not by a long shot." Said Goku, appearing behind the two. His golden hair fell down past his waist, and a crackling aura of lighting arced around him. "Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Things are going to get _really _serious in just a moment."

"I'm-" Kylah coughed wetly, "Not going anywhere!"

"Alright then, stay here. Barney, what do you say we take this somewhere we can really cut loose?"

"I'm afraid not, Goku. I'm wherever my children need me." As he spoke, the remnants of his army walked up behind him.

"But if we fight here, innocent people will die! People who love their children!"

"Learning to care is a battle we all have to fight," Barney said. As he finished Kylah started attacking Goku, forcing him to defend himself for a moment.

"_Enough!_" Goku forced Kylah away with a kiai, sending her tumbling back towards Barney. He charged in, but at the last second Kylah threw herself in front of the punch meant for Barney! Goku looked down in shock, and Kylah coughed up blood.

"You hurt a child," Barney said. With a kiai he let out even more of his power, and an eletric aura sparked around him. "That makes you a bad, bad man." Roaring, Barney used an Exploding Wave, causing even more destruction than his attack on Goten. When the dust settled, Barney and his kids were nowhere to be found.

~oOo~

It was late at night after the first battle, and Trunks was in his room. He and several other kids had made a raid on a city, the quick strike going well. No one had been hurt. But, he couldn't help thinking of the other kids he'd come to be friends with, and of how they were doing. "Barney?"

Just a moment later Barney popped up with a girl in tow. "Hello, Trunks. Having trouble sleeping?"

"Trunks!" The girl, Kylah, ran over and leapt onto Trunks, giving him a hug. "When I was in the city today and got hurt, I was thinking about you. It was scary, Trunks. Some of the adults and kids were really strong."

Trunks _did_ find Kylah pretty, and had thought of her during the raid, but he was uncomfortable admitting such things. "I'm... glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you two are okay, too! After all your hard work you two deserve a very _special _kind of cuddle." The two children looked to Barney, and then without another word moved over to snuggle up against him. He rubbed their backs, and slowly turned over until Trunks was on top of Kylah. Then Barney caressed them with one arm while the other was busy. He then stood, rubbing himself between his legs. Working his power over them he then leaned back down to kiss Kylah and Trunks, on the forehead at first but bit by bit moving out to other places. Trunks began to notice himself feeling a good kind of weird, and Kylah looked down at his waist.

"What is that?"

"I don't know, it's never happened before." Kylah looked at Trunks and gave the shape an experimental touch, feeling it and squeezing it. She continued for a moment, Trunks giving a slight groan. "Barney, what is this?"

"It's just you, Trunks. It's your body's way of showing Kylah you like her!" Trunks blushed and Kylah did as well, but she continued handling Trunks.

"Does... my body have a way of showing Trunks it likes him?" Kylah asked.

"It sure does," Barney said. "It's right... here." He placed his hand in between Kylah's legs, and gently started rubbing her there.

"Mmmn. Okay..." Trunks shyly placed his hand there as well, and the two carried on feeling each other out. "Trunks... could I... see what you look like?"

"Ugh umm, well if I get to see what you look like too," Trunks quietly replied. They separated and took their clothes off, Kylah taking note of Trunks' pink flame retardant boxers. Then their underwear came off, and they looked at each other. They then continued feeling each other, starting to moan lowly. "Barney, why doesn't Kylah... umm have a, well, you know..."

"Because boys and girls are made to go together!" Answered Barney, rubbing their backs. "Your body can fit inside hers..." Kylah nodded and pulled Trunks on top of her, and Trunks bumbled around for a moment before finding his way in. He and Kylah failed to notice Barney standing behind them, eyes glowing red as he rubbed himself between his legs.

~oOo~

It was morning, and Goku could feel the battle taking place. He stood at watch at the edge of the lookout, arms folded and standing still as a statue. "It's started already, hasn't it?" Asked Krillin.

Goku nodded. "The army is almost as big as it was last time, and it might get bigger still." Goku thought over the battle at Central City the day before, and the destruction Barney had caused. _"Learning to care is a battle we all have to fight." Well maybe it is, but it shouldn't be done with violence! You need more than that..._ "Are Goten and Rutaba ready?"

"They should be soon, we only had one box of Frosted Sugar Flakes left." Krillin could almost hear the two young fighters shoveling in the breakfast cereal as he spoke.

"It just doesn't make sense, Krillin! Rutaba's pretty strong, and Goten's around where Gohan was at the Cell Games, but Barney turned _Super Saiyan_ and beat them. How on earth could a creature like him even turn Super Saiyan in the first place?"

"Beats me," Krillin said with a shrug. "I'm just worried about what this is doing to the children. All these families could be torn apart forever." Goku sighed, and Krillin stood in silence with him for a few minutes.

"Hey Dad!" It was Goten, and coming up behind him was Rutaba.

"Hey, Goten. Come here..." Goku pulled Goten in for a hug, holding his son for a moment. Rutaba smiled, and quietly walked over. They all faced the morning sun together, taking in the amazing view.

"Dad, how soon are we going?"

"Whenever you're ready, Goten. This is your battle."

"I'm ready now," Goten said with a determined nod.

"Alright then. Let's go!" They blasted off, flying at supersonic speeds across the sky. There was a look in Goku's eyes that frightened Rutaba, one that she didn't think belonged on the cheerful man's countenance. She had come to like him in the brief time of their acquaintance, and going by the respect the others gave him it almost terrified Rutaba to think of what he was capable of. And so thinking of things such as cabbages and sealing wax and walruses Rutaba passed the flight time, until the children of Barney's army were visible in the streets of East City. "Take the lead here, Goten and Rutaba! All your training has come to this!" Goten looked back at Rutaba and motioned for her to follow, flying down to the skyline of the city.

"Spirit Ball," They said at the same time. Charging up a ginormous globe of ki together, they shot it down with a loud kiai. It smashed down and caught the children on the front lines unawares, and Goten and Rutaba maneuvered the Spirit Ball through the ranks like a wrecking ball. The two worked in unison, and after several long moments the trail of destruction left behind the technique became apparent.

"On three!" Rutaba called, and a few heartbeats later the Spirit Ball lifted up from street level and exploded in a blinding flash, a skyscraper was pulled up and blown apart. Glass was blasted out of buildings and cars several blocks out from the explosion, and Mother of All Battles by Immediate Music started to play. As Rutaba and Goten landed there was debris falling down, and smoke rising up from the crater. Children could be heard crying all around like a chorus of the damned, but still more crept in like mites that had hatched from a bomb. _There are still so many..._ Rutaba sighed. "Okay, no holding back, not for anyone! We have to stop them here!" Rutaba roared and let out her full Super Saiyan power, as Goten did the same beside her. The ground shook and the rubble drifted up, the sky growing dark with clouds. In a flash their transformations finished- Goten's golden hair sticking straight up as blue lightnings crackled around him; Rutaba had grown taller and more muscular, her eyes white with fury. Goten raced off, swiftly downing a crowd of children, chopping and palm striking with impunity. He did not bother hitting any child twice, because he did not have to. Rutaba was on a vicious tear, sending the children that stepped up to her through buildings or smashing them into the ground, leaving small craters.

The mayhem and misery only grew louder and more violent. Mobs of children threw themselves at Goten and Rutaba shouting "For Barney!" only to be scattered like leaves in a hurricane. Limbs were snapped and torn off, hearts and dreams shattered, and on and on Goten and Rutaba's rampage continued. Eventually, the children stopped trying to bring down the city and began sobbing, calling for Barney. And he came. Goten felt his power coming down before he saw him. Looking up, the dark clouds that had gathered were parting, and Barney was descending in a nimbus of light.

"Dry your tears, dry your tears..." He said as he touched down. Goten's fighting spirit fell when he saw the scene, realizing the kids flocking to Barney's side could just as easily have been him. On the other hand, Rutaba's fury became white-hot upon seeing Barney, her ki rising so high Goten started to subconsciously scoot away. "I will strengthen you, my children. Let's sing the song of our covenant.

I love you, you love me  
We're a happy family  
With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you  
Won't you say you love me too?

Ooh, and I do love you my little ones," Barney cooed.

"I love you, you love me  
We're best friends like friends should be

With a great big hug and a k-"

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_" Interrupted Rutaba. "These children have murdered and destroyed in your name! _**I WILL END YOU!**__"_ Rutaba lunged in and punched Barney, sending him stumbling back a few steps.

"Show her how strong our love is..." Coming up through the crowd around Barney were two children, Kylah and Trunks. Kylah wore a dark look on her face, but Trunks was shocked. Kylah glanced at him before charging over to Rutaba. The teen's fist connected with Barney's mark, busting open Kylah's face like a ripe melon.

"Hey Trunks, is your love any stronger than that?" Rutaba mocked, pointing to Kylah's body.

Barney leaned down to whisper in Trunks' ear. "Remember, they've killed kids like you... stay strong..." Though on the verge of a breakdown, Trunks steeled himself and rushed at Goten. In the meantime, Rutaba busied herself with Barney, unleashing vengeful blows upon the purple dinosaur. Barney himself scored with many trapping blows on Rutaba, catching her strikes and countering with a jab or throwing her through a building. But this time, the strikes were completely ignored and Rutaba struck back like the hate of an empire. Barney went Super Saiyan 2 and the duel evened out, even more buildings being toppled and skyscrapers felled in the titanic clash. Coming down with an epic elbow strike, Barney smashed Rutaba down onto a car, the vehicle exploding on impact. Momentarily winded, Rutaba looked over and saw the intense showdown between Trunks and Goten, the fight moving so fast it was almost as if the two Super Saiyans teleported from place to place. It was a captivating dance of violence, and only once Goku appeared at her side could Rutaba look away.

"-That!" He said, pointing up. "You have to deflect that, you can't let it hit the ground!" Looking up, Rutaba saw Barney was charging a far more powerful version of the attack he'd used on Goten. The mass of red ki rippled like an ocean of blood, with streaks of light shooting from it. Rutaba grunted and gritted her teeth, hopping off the car. She charged her own attack, an orb of her ki lengthening and then revolving at high speed like a drill. With a piercing whine the ki drill became fully charged and shot up, and Barney's attack streaked down to meet it like a meteor. They met with a flash and a black roar from Barney.

"_I WILL CLEANSE THIS WORLD!_" The ki bomb exploded once, driving back Rutaba's ki drill. Leaves were stripped from trees by the breeze stirred up by the struggle. A strong surge of power from Rutaba slowed down Barney's attack, and confident Rutaba wold hold her ground Goku looked away. Trunks and Goten were still fighting, a bitter struggle he could see each was desperate to end. Where Goten's fighting spirit had gone down, Trunks drew strength from Barney's mark on his forehead and kept pressing forwards, still sharp and precise.

Another explosion grabbed Goku's attention, a loud blast that flattened a few buildings beneath the power struggle. "Goku! Help!" He looked up and saw Barney's ki bomb racing back towards Earth at frightening speed, and quickly transformed to Super Saiyan and sent up a Kamehameha to back Rutaba's ki drill. It did little to slow down the ki bomb.

"W- what power!" Giving a kiai Goku transformed to Super Saiyan 2 and poured more power into his Kamehameha, slowing down Barney's ki bomb to a halt. It was only meters from the ground- the road and sidewalks were cracking and flying away, and cars rolled away like mere toys as a crater began to form underneath the ki struggle. _I've never seen an attack this powerful before!_ Goku put even more power into his Kamehameha, bordering on transforming to Super Saiyan 3. After a moment he did so, and the ki struggle began to slowly move back up towards Barney.

Meanwhile, the fight between Trunks and Goten was winding down. They were both tiring from fighting at such a high speed for so long, and their bodies aching from blocking and absorbing so many blows. Trunks saw his friend go for a cheap shot as he moved away from a kick, and saw him try the same attack against after he ducked another kick. Trunks saw his hands punch Goten into a building, and saw them move fowards to punch Goten again... but they stopped. "I can't do this anymore, Goten..." Trunks was on the verge of tears, and his fist quivered in the air.

"Then we can just stop. We're friends, right?" Trunks nodded, and his fist fell to his side. The two young boys embraced each other, and a few tears quietly fell down Trunks' cheek. "C'mon, let's go help Dad." They separated, and flew over to beside Goku. He glanced down at them as they powered up and began charging their techniques.

Then there was another explosion. This one leveled the nearby building that were still standing, and shook the ground like a heavy earthquake. Worse, when it faded the massive ki struggle was inching back towards Earth! "Goten, NOW!" Yelled Goku. His son fired an extreme Kamehameha, and the beam slowed down to a stop. "Trunks, what are you waiting for?!"

The young Saiyan had paused, seeing the nearby body of Kylah. He looked back up to Barney, tears running down his face. "I know you're a good boy, Trunks! Don't help them!" Barney called down from on high.

Trunks wiped his eyes. "You think you know me..." Metalingus by Alter Bridge started playing, and Trunks fired his biggest Finish Buster yet up to Barney. The ki struggle moved back up a little faster, the picked up speed until it was flying back at Barney and it connected with him in a blinding and deafening roar. Cracking open his eyes, Trunks saw a clear morning sky over a wasteland of broken buildings. Sighing, he turned and walked away, the world far from perfect but now safe.

**THE END**

****Author's Note**** I am well aware that there is a lot to hate on in this fic, because that is exactly how I wanted it to be.


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